Your Feelings About Mormon Polygamy.. Her comparisons troubled, even angered, some conference attendees. 49. For more on this topic, check outFinding Wholeness and Happiness after Divorce. A man may remarry after the death of his wife and not be disqualified from these callings. Rather than plural marriage being noticeably absent from Church publications, it should be adequately discussed. That some are now agreeingon message boardsthat polygamy is something that will NOT be present in the post [mortal] world in any form, by any couple? "The train stopped, my mother went out and tried to get food," President Uchtdorf told KUTV. Nate Oman on Jeffs, August 25, 2011. Elder DallinH. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, There are many good Church members who have been divorced and reiterated that unless a divorced member has committed serious transgressions, he or she can become eligible for a temple recommend under the same worthiness standards that apply to other members.3, Some men say that although they would never want to go through such an experience again, they have learned from it. I did know one who was released when he and his wife were separated. 2023 The Interpreter Foundation. Polygamy. Upload or insert images from URL. They know they are in violation of the law. However, Elder Baxter's family situation was still difficult. And, like plural marriage itself, they are not going away.68. Not surprisingly, the largest number of respondents who identified their place of [Page 59]birth were from Utah, with the next largest group identifying their birthplace as somewhere in the western United States. Even some of those who became aware of plural marriage at a young age approach the subject through a 21st-century prism that warps their understanding. If you are divorced, here are some ways to stay close to your children and strong in the gospel. (Respondents could select more than one answer.). An outspoken skeptic of the plurality of wives as an eternal principle is former BYU professor Valerie Hudson. He currently serves as the Ward Mission Leader of the Annapolis Maryland Ward. Your Feelings About Mormon Polygamy., 50. To his knowledgge this policy came from the Area Seventy. The Polygamy Porter T-shirts are our best seller, the owner explained. The Relationship of Joseph Smith and Fanny Alger, in The Persistence of Polygamy: Joseph Smith and the Origins of Mormon Polygamy, eds. They need the healing power and hope that come from the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Elder Oaks remarried after the passing of his wife. Elder Ruseel M. Nelson also remarrried after his first wife passed away. Most of them have never been members. Elder Quentin L. Cook said growing up he learned how to trust the Lord from his mother, Bernice Kimball Cook, and how to set and achieve goals from his father, J.Vernon Cook. Dr. Swinton says, [In Church culture], divorce is a bit of a taboo issue that many don't know how to deal with, so the result is to avoid.However, avoiding divorced members only adds to their troubles. There I think being cool matters too much to me. Interestingly enough, 5 of the respondents were from England, with at least 3 of them identifying themselves as fundamentalist Mormons. 22. It is not my place to advise Church leaders on how to handle this problem and, therefore, these suggestions should be seen as suchsimple suggestions that might help. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf was just 4 years old the first time his family fled their home, leaving everything behind. He married his wife,Dianne Marie Lewars, and has four children. 69. At the time, Hudson suggested some Mormon men had celestial lust. She compared these men to the young Muslim suicide bombers who killed themselves and others expecting to be rewarded with 72 virgins in the hereafter. Not surprisingly, many members have believed these unfortunate and mostly false accusations and stereotyping, in no small part because some historians have repeated and embraced them uncritically.8, Joseph Smiths involvement in so-called polyandrous marriages added to the image of him as a man with unbridled lust. Indeed, in the minds of [Page 75]many people, 19th-century Mormon polygamy defines western polygamy.69 Accepting that the twain are inseparable does not mean the Church must acquiesce to the negative stereotyping used by its critics. Whether or not the particular suggestions in this essay are adopted, the goal of leaders and defenders of the Church should be to aim for a more knowledgeable membership who thereby exhibit less discomfort and embarrassment about the Churchs past relationship to plural marriage. Sex with teenage wives.48. Throughout his life, Elder Oaks admired his mother's fortitude and ability to raise her children in the gospel. Nate Oman on Jeffs and Modern Mormonism, e-mail correspondence, August 25, 2011. To [Page 65]be fair, in the RS lesson this declaration evoked criticism and debate of a kind not often seen in RS.51. However, it is obvious more needs to be done to answer the questions and concerns of members of all ages. :). Since few anticipate plural marriages return, and even fewer hope for it, the estranged partners are not getting back together. All of us know someone who has been divorced. Missionaries should learn more about the history of plural marriage and then mention this in a faithful way before converts baptisms. Relationships are really difficult. ok if you have any links or info that i can show this person i would like to see them and thanks for confirming what i thought (Photo courtesy of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) Apostle Ronald A. Rasband speaks at General Conference on Easter Sunday, April 4, 2021. 65. When marriages suffer from serious problems, separation almost always leads to either reconciliation with the hopes of the marriage surviving or to divorce. Separated but not Divorced: The LDS Churchs Uncomfortable Relationship with its Polygamous Past, Complexities in the English Language of the Book of Mormon 2015, http://www.fairlds.org/FAIR_Conferences/2003_Unchanging_Ways_of_Anti-Mormons.html, http://en.fairmormon.org/Joseph_Smith/Polygamy/Polyandry, http://en.fairmormon.org/Joseph_Smith/Polygamy/Marriages_to_young_women, http://archive.sltrib.com/article.php?id=12564307&itype=storyID, http://townhall.com/columnists/stevechapman/2011/07/14/kody_brown_and_his_four_wives, http://www.christianpost.com/news/will-same-sex-marriage-lead-to-legalized-polygamy-57640/, http://www.patheos.com/blogs/getreligion/2011/12/picturing-polygamists/, https://www.deseret.com/2011/10/20/20224517/sarandon-calls-pope-a-nazi-maher-calls-mormonism-ridiculous, http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/52568348-78/mormon-mormons-polygamy-percent.html.csp, http://www.fairmormon.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/2010-Craig-Foster.pdf, http://eugenedailynews.com/2011/09/16/duck-football-from-one-mission-to-another, http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=126371&page=1, http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/blog-21-7669-idaho-bans-ogdens-five-wives-vodka.html, https://churchofjesuschrist.org/topics/plural-marriage-and-families-in-early-utah?lang=eng, https://churchofjesuschrist.org/general-conference/2011/10/the-importance-of-a-name?lang=eng, http://www.abc.net.au/foreign/content/2011/s3342583.htm, https://churchofjesuschrist.org/manual/doctrine-and-covenants-and-Church-history-gospel-doctrine-teachers-manual/lesson-31-sealedfor-time-and-for-all-eternity?lang=eng, https://www.deseret.com/2011/8/6/20208124/recent-events-highlight-confusion-of-polygamy, http://www.fairmormon.org/perspectives/fair-conferences/2011-fair-conference/2011-a-reconciliation-of-polygamy, http://squaretwo.org/Sq2ArticleCasslerPolygamy.html, http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2010/10/25/sister-wives-explained-a-fundamentalist-mormon-polygamy-primer/, http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/darwin-eternity/201108/are-people-naturally-polygamous-0, http://www.economist.com/blogs/democracyinamerica/2013/06/slippery-slopes, Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. . 33. While some periods of separation are longer and uglier than others, a finality is almost always achieved. (You didn't see President Hinckley rushing off to get married after the death of his wife Marjorie, right?). About 14 percent of the Latter-day Saint men and 19 percent of the women have experienced divorce. The new apostles could come from general authorities of the church, or from the church membership at large. To help provide for her family, Elder Oaks's mother went to New York to continue her education while Elder Oaks and his siblings stayed with their grandparents. not true. If someone believe[s] differently is it really worth getting upset over and offended? WebIn the end, they found that 7% of LDS members who had originally had a temple marriage were either now divorced or divorced and remarried. And modern Bible translations NIV, ESV, and CSB do not translate Malachi 2:16 as God saying I hate divorce. What percent of marriages end in divorce? These and other negative claims against early Mormon polygamy have caused understandable mental and spiritual turmoil for members. Unfortunately, many believe the lack of information in official Church publications about plural marriage is a form of cover-up. Answer. During their journey, President Uchtdorf also described the kindness of others who donated food and hot drinks to President Uchtdorf's family until they made it safely to Germany. The historical record, however, clearly demonstrates that Church leaders intended at least a few plural marriages to continue without the Churchs public sanction and encouragement.2 This contributed to the difficulties of the next few decades. This implies that population and marital status adjusted, Muslims are more likely to be divorced than Hindus, and Muslim women take up almost the entire burden of this difference. This will help you examine your own behavior and see things more accurately. A couple of years ago, I was talking with one of my daughters 16-year-old friends, a descendant of LDS polygamists, and mentioned Joseph Smiths plural wives. When Jesus Christ came to earth, He organized His church. A 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization. All but one of the contributing authors can speak from personal experience about divorce. There was not, however, any mention of Brigham Youngs plural marriages. Raised on Essentials in Church History and similar volumes and never hearing of Joseph Smiths own plural relationships in general conferences or in other official publications, the new public memory began to take root.22. Indeed, some even try to dress like 19th-century Mormons, except in neo-pioneer style pastel dresses topped off with a bizarre hairstyle. Yes, she responded, relieved that I had understood at last. It says: "Effective immediately, a man who has been previously sealed and later divorced, who desires to be married and sealed in the temple must first obtain a clearance from the First Presi-den-cy. Note: At the time this survey was conducted, the Church had not yet announced the ministering program that replaced home and visiting teaching. 41. These survey results provide an opportunity for personal reflection. While others shared what kept them going: I wonder if I would have continued going to church if I [didnt] have children. 55. In fact, Elder Bednar said in his April 2012 general conference talk that some members in his ward did not know his father was not a member because he regularly attending Church meetings with his family and helped with various Church activities. If two men are available to be bishop and they are equally qualified in every way except one man is married and the other is not, you can expect the married man to receive the call. At the time of the survey, 30% of the respondents had unfavorable to very unfavorable feelings regarding plural marriage. Another shared a similar experience: They stopped inviting me to every activity, shopping trip, dinners, everything. Beyond an overall dislike for plural marriage expressed by those who had negative views, there were several factors that seemed to particularly distress them. That sounds [Page 52]like The Prime Directive in Star Trek.16 Is there any wonder a 2011 poll undertaken by a California polling company found that almost half of those polled thought Mormons either definitely or probably practice polygamy?17. . As the two started dating, Jeanene told Elder Scott, When I marry, it will be in the temple to a returned missionary.. . There were also several who identified themselves as fundamentalist Mormons of former LDS membership. In spite of their migration out of the mainstream Church, discomfort within the Church persisted and intensified over time. Feelings About Plural Marriage. There was one who chose Native American as an identifier while there were no African-Americans represented. Media Library. No we didn't see President Hinckley remarry. Claire, e-mail correspondence, October 4, 2011. It's true when they say that you really do find out who your real friends are when disaster strikes. Though faced with overwhelming hardships and challenges, these general authorities gained a stronger testimony of the Savior and the importance of families while overcoming incredibly trying family situations. The Church, of course, has no jurisdiction whatever in this matter.26, LDS Apostle M. Russell Ballard stated in a Semiannual General Conference session, Let me state clearly that no polygamist group, including those calling themselves Fundamentalist Mormons or other derivatives of our name, have any affiliation whatsoever with The Church of Jesus Christ [Page 56]of Latter-day Saints.27 LDS Apostle Jeffrey R. Holland was even more outspoken in referencing the fundamentalists, We havent practiced polygamy for over a centuryand its a little frustrating to have these fundamentalist groups resurface.28, Discomfort about the Churchs polygamous past is particularly noticeable in Church-produced literature and at Church-owned historical sites. [Page 71]. Copy in authors possession. Dont judge; be supportive., [Give me] spiritual support. Yet when he observed Elder Scott and his wife, he noticed they seemed to have a sense of peace that he did not.
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